Last Sunday, Bri and I went to a really cool & creative event, organised by two, well, really cool & creative guys (@jonathanzoeteman & @bradendam). And even though the event was aimed towards photographers, I knew that I'll manage to fit it. Both Bri and went there knowing no one. I was surrounded by complete strangers, it was 7 AM on a Sunday morning (geez) and I'm not a morning person, but... I still had a blast and was able to meet some really interesting people.
This led me to think, “How often do we approach strangers?! Or, actually, why don’t we?!”
Know your roots.
I guess it depends. Being born and raised in a tiny Eastern European country, I was brought up with an idea that you should always keep everything to yourself. Avoid eye contact, especially with gypsies, because they can cast a spell on your and empty your wallet (haha that's what people used to say, wtf) and don’t approach strangers, because they’ll think that you need something from them. As if you're a beggar or something. Sounds bizarre, but that’s how it was. I mean, I guess you could tie that into our history and how depressing it was to live under the Soviet regime, but I was lucky enough to have been born in a free & independent country and so I can’t really talk about how life was back then. I wouldn't know.
Okay, back to strangers.
Funny thing is that I remember some of my neighbours, from when I was a kid, who literally lived next door for 10+ years, saw me everyday, but sometimes wouldn’t even say hi. That’s not because they were rude or anything (I don’t think), it was just part of our culture then. I wish I could say it was the older generation, but I’d be lying. It was kids my age too. It even happens now, but I think it's not as bad, at least from what I remember.
Thanks, Mom!
It would’ve been easy to just go with the flow, but thank God, for my mom Giedre.
See, she’s a true hippie at heart and she’s the person who will get along with pretty much anyone. She'll strike up a conversation with a stranger while walking her dog or grocery shopping. She won't feel weird giving someone a compliment, whether it's a guy or a girl, old or young. And most importantly, she does all that out of good will. Not because she needs anything from anyone, no. She just spreads the good vibes for the fun of it. That's just who she is. I love that about her! And, personally, this type of worldview made such a huge impact on me when I was growing up. It really did. There's a reason the saying, "Treat others the way you want to be treated" exists and my mom is the perfect example of that.
American Influence.
Obviously, the four years I've spent studying in the US helped a lot, especially with my self-confidence. Although, I was never that shy to begin with. People who travel know that living abroad is something magical, right?...Anyone?!
Why's that?! Because, you're constantly pushing yourself out of your "comfort zone", while also forcing yourself to meet & interact with complete strangers. I remember my first day of my freshman year in college. Holy hell! I knew absolutely zero people. Sure, I could've played the I-am-a-foreigner-and-I-speak-no-english card, but I would be fooling myself. Instead, I chose to do what my mom always did and in a matter of days, I had already made a bunch of friends. Good times!
Okay, but why?
Well, the best part about talking to strangers is that you never know what you’re going to get from them. I guess, I shouldn’t say get, I should say learn from them. Even now, when I think about how many people I see each day, everyone with their own stories, struggles, experiences… it’s truly mind-boggling to think that we often choose to ignore the opportunities to interact with complete strangers. Whether it's your favourite coffee shop, a bus stop or your everyday train - they're everywhere!
What I try to do more of nowadays, is approach people that I find interesting. Sometimes I see someone and think, “Hmm, I wonder what they do, what’s their life like, what they’re into?!”. Quick "Confession Time" - I have to admit, usually it’s the looks that catch my attention first. If I see someone who I think looks cool, is stylish or maybe acts a certain way, I’ll try to approach them. Mind you, it doesn't happen that often, but I try my best.
Just give it a go.
All I’m saying is that the next time you see someone you find interesting - just talk to them. What’s the worst that can happen?! What if that stranger turns out to be your new best friend or your future wife? How trippy is that?! Haha. See ya soon.
Sincerely,
Vinny The Guy